OKSANA HOTEL, A BUSINESS JOKE



I like comfort. There I said it. I don’t know anyone who can say they don’t. I like things around me that are comfortable, not necessarily expensive, but comfortable, warm, inviting and clean. Nothing is worse than going on a business trip or holiday and ending up in a depressing, low lit, NO WIFI, no satellite and hard bed roomed hotel.One of those hotel rooms that are just so dull, the ones that suicidal people end up in with a note that says “Dear Sally, I know i was too fat but couldn’t change”.

I was put up at Oksana Hotel in Moscow and their tag line “Moscow’s Oksana Hotel is a small superior business hotel offering comfortable, well-equipped accommodation and convenient transport link”

Comfort – superior business my foot and don’t get me wrong we all define comfortable differently, at the risk of sounding rather snobbish and spoiled, of which I can assure i am not ( I know when to shut my mouth and suck it up and I did for 9 days at that place).

The only reason I’m even taking time out to acknowledge their existence is based on this,listening closely…

On the last day at the hotel while I was checking out, the booking lady said to me, “could you please write a review for us on TripAdvisor”. (Cue the horrified look on my face). ME: SAY WHAT?

Listen I grew up in South Africa, know and have seen poverty. When i visit the countryside i use a wash basin to bathe in because not everyone has invested in luxury baths. I eat what everyone eats without complaint, i can adapt, that’s my best quality, however when I’m moving from home (comfortable), to a new city (where i don’t speak the language or know the transport system), well I expected to at least have a working INTERNET/WIFI at the hotel I’m in, especially, especially if it calls itself a BUSINESS HOTEL! I had none of that and that just pissed me off!

Photos of Oksana Hotel, Moscow

MY Dull ROOM

In which century are we living in that a mere two star rated hostel in Kabul for instance can have free WiFi and an expensive hotel in the middle of nowhere that caters for business people NOT HAVE INTERNET? Somebody save me!

The other thing that annoyed me to death was the fact that, after having walked all day looking for an apartment and trying to settle in this hectic world I’m in, I’d come back tired and cold and wanting a hot bath. Oh I’d get the hot bath, what i didn’t get was how to take out the bloody water from the bath.

The stopper  was one of those old fashioned, i don’t think I’ve ever seen one like that. No button to press to release the water or chain you could pull to release the water, you had to put your nails in between the thing and yank it out to release the water. Seriously? COME ON! We have better facilities in South Africa and they call us savages and third world.

STEP ONE - THE WATER IS FULL

TEP TWO - PUT YOUR FINGERS BETWEEN THE STOPPER

STEP THREE - YANK IT OUT - LOOKS LIKE THIS

The truth is, I wouldn’t have cared so much about the state of the hotel because they had friendly staff, (except the cleaning lady who continuously ignored my DO NOT DISTURB SIGN),  if I had access to the internet to talk to my family and friends on a regular basis especially after having moved to MOSCOW! I wouldn’t have cared about all the other things. But i didn’t have that and I was frustrated, alone and everyone was worried and i couldn’t access loved ones for days at end, thank God i had a working phone. They also got my wake up times wrong, everyday! Business?

So when they asked me, asked me to write a review, it was the last straw, I said to the Booker, “no i wont be writing a review on TripAdvisor because i don’t do reviews on that site and also after having no internet for 9 days, i ‘m not sure i want to sit at the computer and give a raving review and if i give a bad review you all know where i work”. So instead i chose to write it here, in my own sphere.

If I were suicidal, it would have been be the worst place to die in.

OKASANA HOTEL RATING: 2 stars and bring your own internet dongle! Why don’t you Trip THAT!

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